Questions at the Crossroads
Have you ever felt a sense of tension for no apparent reason? When a path closes and one stage of our lives is complete, we come to a crossroads. Approaching the crossroads, the inner stirrings begin. Something doesn’t feel quite right. You can’t put your finger on it, but you have a sense of impending change. During this time of uneasiness, you might have feelings of boredom, flights of fantasy (running away), anxiety, depression, or even physical disease. You might feel paralyzed, like a deer in headlights – you know something is coming, but you can’t get out of the way. Then one day, you don’t even know who you are. You used to know, but now you’re not so sure. It was over twenty years ago when I came to that crossroads.
When a path closes, it can feel like we’re dying because our identities are threatened. When it happened to me, the stories about how I saw myself didn’t fit anymore; but I didn’t have any new ones to replace them. The questions came first. Who am I? What am I here to do? What is my purpose? Questions can be dangerous – they require tremendous courage to ask because new questions lead to new ways of perceiving. All new and original thought begins with a question, which leads to exploration.
For most of my life, I have always been busy doing. I realized that if I was going to find those lost parts of myself, I would have to be quiet and listen to the whispering of my soul and just be. Many times, just before we come to the crossroads, we fill our lives with busyness, so we don’t have to listen to that little voice whispering in our ears. I had no idea how it would look, but I felt driven to find out why I was here and what I was supposed to do.
When I stopped and began listening, my inner voice started to answer those questions I had never been able to voice before. I believe we always have choices and now I had to choose. Did I want to stay in the rut, believing I must be who I always had been? Or, do I take the risk to discover how to live following my passion and purpose? It was my choice – to stay in the pain of procrastination or to move into the possibilities of passion.
I began to understand the cycles of life. I recognized that we move from tradition to transition (crossroads) to transformation. Ultimately, transformation becomes tradition, and the cycle continues. I learned that you can’t get from tradition to transformation without spending time in transition (being at the crossroads).
Now I welcome coming to a crossroads because I know it will move me into the passion of transformation. When I feel the inner stirrings begin, I am gentle with myself as I process feelings of uncertainty, doubt, and impending change.
Transition, life at the crossroads, is easier when you know there is a process with a resolution so that you can move into your transformation with confidence, clarity, and acceptance.
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